Apples to oranges, dust to dust

Apple-centric comparisons ranked from least to most valid:

"You're comparing apples to the single-Doppler velocity retrieval technique".
"...apples to dark matter".
"...apples to James K. Polk".
"...apples to Applebee's".
"...Apple commercials to John Hodgman's self-penned comedy".
"...apples to Snapples".
"...Apples to Apples to Cards Against Humanity".
"...apples to Delicious Apples".
"...apples to oranges".